we all start small.
|Five weeks old here... but he's already six weeks old!|
I have been thinking since being the primary care taker of a newborn about how my interest in painting and sewing and such has taken a backseat. I still love to do these things, but right now, my time is lacking. I can imagine once I go back to work it'll be much worse. Now I can squeeze a little bit of painting during nap time or daddy-time, but after working an eight hour day I can't imagine wanting to make time for anything else other than this little guy.
And so. Part of me wishes I had devoted so much more time to these things prior to getting pregnant. I had all the time in the world on evenings and weekends. The problem was I was so drained mentally from working that being creative felt like a chore a lot of the times. When I painted or sewed I stuck to easy projects that gave me instant gratification. I only poured myself into more challenging works on occasion, when I truly felt inspired. I guess now I am feeling a little fearful that I am going to lose much of who I was before I had a baby. Having a child means I will have to structure my creative time much differently. Nap times now mean a shower for me, cleaning up around the house, or quiet time with my husband in addition to creative time.
I have to keep telling myself, though: all is not lost. Having a child also means that in a couple of years he and I can spend creative time together, finger painting, making things out of popsicle sticks, decorating Christmas cookies. My husband is a musician and we have every instrument you could think of in our garage-turned-music-studio. I am sure Elliott will be spending time in there as well with his dad as he gets older. There is no doubt this little boy will grow up in a creative environment, and we will have all the time in the world to nurture his creative spirit. We are not losing who we are as creatives, we are just adding another person in our household to share our creative interests with.
For now, I'll just make time when I can. A little bit of time here and there. There will be more time as life with Elliott progresses. We'll start small. Baby steps.