scars.



I took a huge step yesterday and finally uploaded a photo of my little one and his heart surgery scar onto Facebook. I am  not sure what made me so tentative, except that I just didn't feel like I was ready to put that kind of image of my son out there in the world. Seeing those scars on my own  innocent little boy even disturbed me a little, and I had a hard time looking at them when ever I bathed him or changed his clothes. A reminder of all the pain he encountered while he was so small and had no inkling of why he was feeling that way. You have no way to explain pain to a child that young.

Maybe those of you have been reading here for a while have picked up that my perspective has been changing oh so slowly on things. The trauma of surgery, watching my child in pain, has dissipated. Life has returned to normal, in a way, and so comes with the normality a change in the way I see things.

That scar. So hard to look at at first. The bump on the ridge of his sternum. Making me cringe inside myself as I slathered my little one up with baby lotion. At first, a horrifying symbol of pain and hard moments; now, a beautiful testimony of his fighting spirit. A tough cookie, a strong little boy. That scar has changed my perspective. That scar has changed my life.

Oh! And you may or may not have noticed... Elliott's feeding tube is gone! The swallow test at the speech therapy clinic went well enough, and for the time being we are thickening up his formula with a little rice cereal. A little more calories, and heck, it was time to start him on rice cereal anyhow. He's eating a bit slow, but we are tracking his weight gain for now to make sure the tube it stays out permanently. Fingers crossed!

Comments

  1. He is beautiful. My friends little girl had heart surgery not so long ago at 3 years old. I'm so grateful that my little boy is in full health. But your little one has fighting spirit and he's such a cutie! xx
    Laura
    maxandmummy.blogspot.co.uk

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  2. Aw, Charlotte...he's beautiful and that's a battle scar! I did notice his feeding tube was gone, and I'm here crying with relief. The last time I commented was when you bought your house so it's been awhile but I've been here with you every step of the way, rooting for you all. You are amazing. I'm looking forward to seeing the pics of Elliott's first visit to In 'n Out!

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    Replies
    1. Haaa! I love it. Well definitely have to take him to In & Out! :) Thanks for commenting, sticking with us, and rooting for us Marla!

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  3. I wanted to say the same thing as Marla just did. Take the scar for what it is: a battle scar. :)

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  4. Hi Hun my friend mentioned you and your little boy to me I'm glad Elliot is doing better, my daughter who is now 3 and a half has a heart defect to she has hypo-plastic left heart syndrome (only has half a heart) also a valve regurgitation and a narrowing of the aorta she's had 8 heart surgeries her first being when she was just 6 days old so understand how you feel Hun and understand your feeling about the scar but as he grows the scar does get smaller Hun basically what I'm trying to say Hun if you ever need a chat with someone I don't mind Hun I've net many of people with all different types of heart defects and speaking to someone who understands sometimes helps I hope Elliot continues to do well and well done to you for staying strong Hun good luck to you all x

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  5. What a stunning boy. You are a blessed momma.

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