Today at woke up at 5:40 am and started to get ready for work.
Today I cried for a brief moment as I got on the freeway. By myself. After a year of car-pooling with my husband and 5 months of stay-at-home-mommying it was the loneliest drive to work in a long, long time.
Today when I arrived at work it was dead quiet in the office. Dead quiet. At first I had to check and make sure it wasn't Saturday or something. Then, I saw my good friend. I ran over to her and hugged her and cried again. It wasn't the first time I've seen her since we've been home from the hospital, but it was good to see her face first thing at the start of this new chapter.
Today I felt like I was in a time warp. Life was familiar, but eerie. Like I was trying to recall a dream. There were so many faces that were good to see, but sitting at my desk and pretending like I knew how to do things was awkward at first. It got easier as the day wore on.
Today I had lunch with my husband, just the two of us. Just like old times, before baby. It was nice. I suddenly realized how much I missed that time with my husband. Just the two of us.
Today I met my mom and my little boy at the speech therapist. I held him closecloseclose in the waiting room. His feeding tube came out while at the appointment, and I left a little disappointed. We're not cleared to bottle feed yet, but soon. I hope.
Today my husband had to reinsert Elliott's feeding tube as Elliott screamed and I freaked out. It's the first time either one of us have had to do it, and I am glad my husband just went ahead and did it. We fed kiddo pie right after. Life was good after that, but getting there was a little rough.
Today I snuggled my little boy in his cute footie pajammies as he fell asleep on my chest. The last cry of the night, but happy tears. A sweet end to my day. The end to everyday, hereafter, until that kid turns 13.
Goodnight, sweet friends.