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Tuesday, April 9, 2013

mama truths.



While I have only been a mama for about 8 months, I’ve quickly found that the old cliché things your parents say about having kids are inevitably true. The kind of things you might roll your eyes at when you’re in your teens, early twenties, maybe even when you’re expecting or holding a brand new baby in your arms; at some point, that I know everything eye- roll you naively bestow on your mother/father/grandmother/aunt/etc. will consequentially bite you in the butt. From this point forward, mamas, don’t ever roll your eyes at anything. You may end up with egg on your face and a head ache.

I’ve heard mamas say in those first few month they were lucky to get a shower once a day. I have found this to fortunately to be fallacy; however, you may not get to take a shower at the exact time you need to or want to. Showers may have to wait until baby’s long afternoon nap or until papa gets home from work for the day.

Gone are the days of making a home cooked, organic, well-balanced meal every night of the week. You will at some point eat something instant, frozen, or from a drive-thru a few times a week. And guess what? You will like it.

Your house will never be clean again. Even if it is “clean,” it will be cluttered with piles of laundry and baby toys.

You will become obsessed with poop. You may even find yourself instant messaging a friend at work to compare/contrast their experiences with poop.

You won't be able to own anything nice, much less keep it nice. Your nice articles of clothing will end up spit up on or as very fancy handkerchiefs for a little one's runny nose. (Thank you Kathleen for reminding me of this one!)

Sick days no longer belong to you, they belong to your little one. You will go to work exhausted, weak, stuffy-headed, headache-y, and on your death bed, but still, you go to work. Your sick pay is reserved for days your child is sick, has a doctor's appointment, or needs an emergency trip to urgent care.

Time alone with your husband/partner is that 30 minutes of Seinfeld before bedtime during which you accidentally fall asleep on the couch.

You pick up your groceries in your yoga pants. Furthermore, you put on your yoga pants the minute you step foot in the house after work.

You will stare at your child's face or photograph and will be positively convinced to no end that he/she is most likely the cutest human being that has even been born in the entire history of the solar system.

You might even spend 5 minutes talking about it to strangers at the grocery store.

Are there any I am missing?

1 comment:

  1. Giiiiirl, you nailed it. All of it.

    PS, you look JUST like Elliott in this picture! It's weird, I always think he looks like Taylor in person, but like you in pictures.

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