saying goodbye and saying hello all at once.
Saturday morning I decided it was time to make my way through some of Elliott's old clothes to pass on to a friend that is having a little boy this fall. Elliott is still a small little guy who is just barely making his way into 3-6 month sized clothes; after being given hand-me-downs, brand new clothing as gifts, and shopping for him myself in my own excitement, Elliott has quite the collection of tiny things that he’s already grown his way out of. And choosing which items to give away, to another little boy that will look adorable in all of it, was so very hard for me, a sentimental and sensitive mama.
There were some special things, the sweater one-piece he came home from the hospital after heart surgery in, the outfit he wore for his Easter photos, the Christmas Day outfit. Some of these special pieces I have decided will stay forever with our family, never to be shared, always to be cherished. Kept close to my heart in order to make some of my memories of him as a brand new baby a little more tangible again. Maybe someday Elliott will have a brother, or maybe, he'll have sons of his own, and dress them in these things for memory's sake. Of course, there will be those little outfits I simply loved to put him in, the car-printed onesie, the vintage bowling shirt I bought off Etsy. They may not hold any particular memories of a certain day or milestone, but he just happened to look oh-so-cute in them. Those are the things that are just as hard to part with. There are so many of those little shirts, these little tiny things that I loved and want to hold forever close to my heart and store in my closet.
There are so many little pieces, piles of them, and the truth is there will be a lot of sweet little one pieces or t-shirts or sweater vests in all of Elliott's childhood that will be tough for me to part with. I can't keep every piece of clothing Elliott has ever worn or will wear, and there are other little boys to be born to this beautiful world who will make memories for their parents in these clothes, too. So I have to say goodbye. Goodbye to some of these things. At least we will always have photographs.
It is time for a new era. A new little life in our home that we need to make room for. And this new little life will have no reason to wear car-printed things that conjure up images of a little boy digging in the dirt for worms or playing with trains or climbing trees. This new little life, she’ll need her own things, her own clothes to make tea-party, baby-doll, dress-up clothes memories in. This new little life, she will be a girl, and her needs, they’ll be different. Her own memories to be made. She’ll make many with her big brother, but she’s her own person already, even if she is only currently the size of a tomato. And so, here we go, my little girl. Goodbye to big brother’s baby clothes, and hello to you.