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Saturday, June 22, 2013

insomnia.


Doing something I haven't done in a long while. Laying in bed, awake, thinking of the next day. Tomorrow (today, really?) isn't a special day or anything, we are just holding a big community yard sale and there's much to do as soon as I get up. After lying in bed for 2 hours, listening to my husband breathe (snore) and checking on the baby countless times I still can't quiet my mind, so I am taking a blog breather. Maybe sorting my thoughts will let me get a few hours of sleep before up-and-at-'em time comes at 6 am.

To those who read my post a few days ago and are hoping for an update on baby Sweet P, I have one! We received good news from Elliott's cardiologist herself, the same woman who gave us Elliott's diagnosis, that all the little pieces of little sister's heart are there, accounted for, and in the right spot. She of course warned that ventricular septal defects smaller than the size of the head of a pin can't be detected, as well open valves that are supposed to be open now but close before birth could as a rarity, stay open; she mentioned she couldn't rule out those types of things. But no heart defects detected, music to our ears.

I was extremely nervous going in. My OB missed Elliott's heart defect during my prenatal care, shoot, several pediatricians after he was born missed it, and after my 20-week ultrasound revealed a two-vessel umbilical cord I was (coupled with my history of having a heart baby) shot into the dreaded "high risk pregnancy" category. Getting the ultrasound scheduled was an insurance nightmare and the urgent tone from my OB to get it scheduled made me feel unsettled even though I had spent most of the first half of this pregnancy feeling good about Sweet P's heart health. Did my OB see something else on the ultrasound that he wasn't telling me? I wasn't sure, but all of a sudden I started to worry, thrusting myself into a self-imposed pity party. Hearing the good news on Thursday, that Sweet P is developing well, made me relax. Time to enjoy my pregnancy again, time to start decorating a nursery!

With that, I sit up in the middle of the night needing to say thank you to you. To those who left comments or messaged me, to those that didn't but kept me (us) in your thoughts. Thank you so much. I really appreciate it, and I mean it. Having a child with CHD has not been a fight I've faced alone. An army has lined up behind me and my husband, supporting us during the fight, and for that I am oh so thankful. CHD has taught me many things, but most importantly it's taught me to not take anyone for granted. Not my son, not my husband, my parents or in-laws. And not my other friends, family, and loved ones who are always willing to lend a hand. We are so blessed. CHD....it doesn't matter. Life is not about CHD. Life is about beauty and love. So here we are.


1 comment:

  1. I am glad to hear that you have received some good news about your little sweet P... I hope it just gets better.

    I love those mornings I can just lay in bed and think or read... before I start the day... :)

    ReplyDelete