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Wednesday, June 12, 2013

motherhood (expectations).



When I was pregnant with Elliott, I wanted to do up his room all fancy, make it bright, colorful and unique. So I did! Now I am pregnant with a little girl, and I have an extra bedroom waiting to be done up all fancy for her. The idea of the work needed to put into this projects makes me nauseous.

When I was pregnant with Elliott I wanted to breastfeed exclusively. I was open to formula as a supplement when absolutely neccesary but only as a last resort. My cardiac baby had other thoughts, and now we exclusively formula feed.

When I was pregnant with Elliott I wanted to cloth diaper exclusively. We currently cloth diaper exclusively at home during the day, but sometimes, we use disposable diapers. I’d say it’s almost 50/50.

When I was pregnant with Elliott I wanted to make all of his food. Puree everything and keep him on a strict diet. Today, Elliott is 10 months old and I rarely make any of his food, most of it is store-bought.

When I was pregnant with Elliott, I knew I did not want to go into co-sleeping territory. I felt it did not set up a child for independence. Well, life surprised us and we found out we had a cardiac baby on our hands when he was eight weeks old. We co-slept for three months.

When entering into motherhood, I naively felt strongly about things and was convinced I would never deviate these plans. But more and more I am learning the flexibility is a good mamahood skill to have, more than anything. Compassion, patience, and flexibility.

When I was pregnant with Elliott, I didn’t know what it was like to be a mom. I had no idea what lay ahead for me as his mama. I still don’t. Now, I am the mother of two, and it’s everything I ever wanted.

3 comments:

  1. Charlotte this is beautiful and so true... I had many absolutes when my first was born... I was way more lenient with myself when my Valentina was born... It made for a much easier baby... less stress.

    There is no perfect way to raise a child, there is only today... doing our best and loving them with all our hearts :)

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  2. Your honesty is so refreshing. There are so many mamas out there who make motherhood look...so...undesirable. They preach that 'this is the best way' or 'you musn't do that!' But, quite frankly, life does not operate the same way for everyone. Elliott came into the world with his own agenda, and Penelope will, too!

    At the end of the day, they won't remember if they had home-made baby food or store-bought! They don't care if they co-slept for a little while, or went immediately to a crib! They will know, without a blink or a shadow-of-a-doubt, that their parents love them, and played with them, and accepted them!

    They are lucky to have parents, and an extended family, that is willing and able to accept them and love them for who they are.

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  3. Oh Charlotte, that last sentence almost made me cry. You are a wonderful mother and I can't wait to see your baby girl, she will be beautiful xxxx

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