you are one.
I can't even wrap my head around it. You are a year old today. One year from the day I felt my first contractions at 2:30 am on August 12, 2012 and one year from when I finally pushed you out of my body at 11:44 pm that very same night.
There were hard days, some of the hardest I have every experienced. Never mind the sleep deprivation, the letting go of hopes to breastfeed. There were days I looked at your face with a zillion tubes coming out of it and those were the days I never hoped to experience. There were days I probably got frustrated with you when I had no reason to. There were days I felt like the worst mother ever (already). Your first year was not easy.
But I have to say, it's been the best year of my life. You changed everything for me and your papa, and we would never ever choose a life without you. You've made me the happiest, most blessed mama around.
The days you rolled over, started saying mama. The day you smiled at me for the first time. The night we rocked and sang and the early mornings we listened to records. The day you crawled... it wasn't really that long ago and you saved that experience for your papa and me to see. These are the days I will cherish.... I'll always remember the hard days but really, they are few. They are not outweighed by the good, rather, they have made the good days that much better.
You are turning into such a fiery spirit. You have a strong will about you and you know what you want. I love that about you. You've been dealt a rough hand but even at the youngest age I am already seeing you face that hand with defiance. I don't think anything will stop you. You are already so much stronger than me.
Happy first birthday, my little one.
I love you.