sweet girl.


 Sweet girl,

I'll just come right out and say it.

You're a breath of fresh air.

The surprise of my pregnancy with you, I'll be honest, was not the most pleasant surprise. I was scared already. I wasn't sure I had the right mom skills to cut it with your brother, and now I had two babies to care for? I wasn't sure I could handle it. It would be hard and I wasn't sure of what path you would take us on. I was not good enough to go on that path with you.

I let myself soak up the fear for weeks until it hit me. I wanted you anyway. I needed you. You were meant to be here, giggling and bright eyes shining, a Sweet member of our family. You fit right into our family the moment you came home like you've been here all along.

I'm sorry to say that I am already guilty of taking you for granted. I've spent the last three months worried about your brother's health and not yours; you've braved a family cold, a stomach flu, and a regular flu with no symptoms. I worried about your brother fitting in with the new nanny but I didn't worry about you; you've been easy on the nanny from day one. I still worry about your brother's development and yet you're moving right along, kicking butt at tummy time, sleeping through the night, and observing the world with big blue eyes (I hope they stay blue) and a certain knowingness I can't put my finger on. I don't mean to ever compare you two but I just can't help it sometimes. You have been easy-going from the moment I met you, and I can't help but think it's a special gift you've given me.

Sweet girl, I won't always do the right thing, I may get mad at you down the road or make you mad at me. I might take you for granted more often than I should. I have already struggled with dividing my time between the two of you and I don't think I'll ever get it right. I am sorry for that, but something just tells me you will understand. You seem to get it already. I just can't believe it, Penelope. You are such a gift, and somehow you're all mine.

All the love in the universe,

Your mama.

Comments

  1. Charlotte this was beautiful, this post came at a time I needed it... when you wrote how sweet P will probably get mad at you down the road or you would get mad at her. (I had a rough morning with my little Valentina).. we don't always do the right thing but we love our children. It is so tough to be a mommy but you are doing a great job <3

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  2. *sniff* What a beautiful post! I'm so happy you and Sweet P have each other <3

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  3. Soooo sweet. What a gift our babies will get reading letters like this one when they're grown!

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