1. & 2. It was cold. // 3. Saturday morning breakfast, probably my favorite point in the weekend. // 4. She knows how to work the food on her face. // 5. "Can you get my bottle please mama? It fell down there." // 7. Little hands.
Can I be honest? The weeks both drag and zip by. I am so freaking busy. I work, clean, cook dinner, repeat. I can't keep a handle on anything I am doing and my kids keep getting older by the second. I'm testy, short, and not so nice to my family. I catch myself yelling at the kids more than I should. Over what? Patience is obviously not my strong suit, I am learning. Having two babies, toddlers more like it, is really becoming challenging. I drop them off each day with the nanny and my heart breaks, and yet on Saturday morning my patience is all used up by 9 a.m. Do kids really whine this much, or is it just mine? Are my kids unhappy? Sometimes I feel like this is the hardest season in my life and then I remember that it isn't, not anywhere close.
So, I guess I have a lot of house cleaning to do. I've been confronted by the truth of what is really important in life and am having to let go of a lot of wants in life. My kids have their health and live in a home where they can spread their limbs and play. I am not in a hard season, truly, I am just busy and tired. I am not for want of anything. I do not need a new car with seat heaters, I need safe & reliable transportation (so what if it's messy?). I do not need to have clean floors; I need to allow my kids space to make messes for the sake of learning. I do not need to buy the next trendy thing on Etsy, I need to make sure my family's needs are met, food, clothing, shelter, love. With this realization comes a sudden awareness that I have way too much, I've been for want of way too much, and I need to let go. Everything I need I have already, right here.