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Tuesday, January 3, 2017

a new year, renovation stress, & finding time for self-care.

And just like that, it’s 2017! I felt as though it was a feasible time to pop in here and dust off the keyboard a bit. Winter in SoCal has been wet, wetter than we are used to and the constant gray in the sky, I am realizing, it starting to bum me out. To top it off, we are still in the throes of a big renovation, and while the end result is crazy exciting, the journey to the end is incredibly stressful. I get why people say renovating is so stressful. It really is. But by the same token it’s also really thrilling, getting to reimagine our spaces and make every little square foot purposeful and useful. I cannot WAIT to share more here soon.

I will say though, the winter blues, the holiday stress, renovating, renovation mess, teething, three kids four & under, family planning (not to get all TMI on here but it’s something we have to think about), and Elliott’s next cardiology appointment have all become a tornado of things that have my head spinning. My head is literally in the clouds all the time and I am having a really hard time being present. I don’t want to be present, actually, I want to escape. It’s hard to be present when I have so much to attend to all day, every day. After Adeline was born and I returned to work I presented the idea of setting aside creative pursuits in favor of real life, but I am realizing more than ever that setting aside creative time for myself is an act of self-care. Like eating well, getting enough sleep, and showering on the daily, setting aside time to clear my head and calm the tornado is not necessarily desired, it is vital to my mental well-being. And I’ve been letting it slip.

So, I guess, this is why I am here. To say hello to myself again, the cyclical push and pull of needing creativity and then setting it aside again, needing it and setting it aside. Over and over. I am thankful there is such a space we can come to. Recently I cleared out all of my craft supplies and pared down big time, and it wasn’t long before I was looking for something in particular for several heated, huffy puffy moments before I realized that my need to purge had become between myself and said item several months prior. Blogging is great that way. I don’t need to purge, I can just sit down, write, and be. Hello old friend.

With this new year, I have decided on holding off on any major goals for our family & home because honestly, it sometimes feels like way too much pressure to put on myself anyway. This new year, I am just going to try and look inward a bit more, stop sloughing myself off, and to allow a bit more time for me and less to that never ending pile of mismatched socks. More time for a bit of self-care, writing, and handcrafts. More time for me, so that in a sense, I have more energy to be present with my kids and husband. They are truly my greatest blessings and because I haven’t been giving myself much of anything these days, I haven’t been giving them my best either.
Hello 2017! I am looking forward to it.


2 comments:

  1. Charlotte, I love the picture of your family... so adorable... xox

    I think we go in cycles and become creative and then pushing it back for awhile because life becomes crazy busy. The good thing is we can always go back and yes you are right, we all need to have a little creative time, it does help us to be better and give more of ourselves.. I don't make New Year's resolutions per say but I make and change goals throughout the year when I have the desire and motivation. I have learned to cut myself some slack... xox

    You are doing great, being a mama is tough xox

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  2. I understand this so well! I stay at home, but Josie wants my attention nearly all her waking moments so I don't have more time and space than I would if I was out of the house. It is mentally exhausting and yet, I'm not DOING anything. Add on heart worries and the constant oppressive anxiety of living with food allergies, homeschooling, and raising a tween and teen, and I'm done for. But I'm striving to be more productive and intentional about the few bits of time I do get instead of mindless scrolling that is so easy to fall into. It's a work in progress! I've started writing for Houston Moms Blog and that has been great. I am forced to use my brain at least once a month! LOL.

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